Friendship Lived Out

I know a high school student named David*.  David is a good student, a decent athlete, and a fun guy to be around.  Most of his teachers don’t know his name, but he has a group of guys that he hangs out with during lunch.  By all appearances, David leads a normal life for a teenager filled with academics, sports, and social gatherings.  However, David doesn’t have many people in his life that he feels close to.  In fact, there are only a handful of people on the entire planet that David trusts enough to talk about his feelings, his doubts, and his painful times.

David lives in my neighborhood and we hang out multiple times per week.  He comes to YoungLife events, we go to the movies with other guys, he visits my house for dinner.  One afternoon, David told me that he had something important that he wanted to talk about.  He came to the door, looking nervous.  We sat at my dining table and I asked him, “What’s up?”  David went on to tell me that he had met a youth pastor who had invited him to their youth group meeting.  David wanted to go, but was scared that if he went he would no longer be welcome at YoungLife.  I chuckled a bit and explained to him that we are here for him, and that I would gladly drive him to that youth group, which happened to be led by a friend of mine at a local church.  We went on to talk about faith, life, and what it means to love yourself as Jesus loves you.

As David headed for the door to leave, he turned around with another nervous look on his face.  “Josh?  What are we?  Like, what is this that we’re doing?”  I laughed a little more and told him simply, “This is called being friends.  I learn from you, and you learn from me.”  He liked that.  David told me that he doesn’t have many friends that act like this.  “Well,” I said, “we’ll just have to find you more friends.”  As David left my house, I realized that this act of understanding and caring for my friends is what ministry is.  This is what YoungLife is.  This is what love is.

*Name changed to protect identity.

-Josh

End of the Season

When I first visited the San Juan Hills High School Campus, it was odd.  I didn’t know anyone, yet I was setting out to build friendships here.  I was only allowed on campus because it was after school, but I was supposed start up conversations with tons of kids.  Most of all, I had no idea what I was doing, or even why God had called me to San Juan Capistrano.  It seemed like a bad plan to just show up to an empty school, but here I was walking around empty classrooms praying for people I hadn’t even seen yet.

Fast forward a few months, and I can’t walk from parking lot to the office without being stopped three or four times.  Some kids want to say hello, some want to hang out later.  Some coach wants to meet after class, some staff person wants to shake hands.  The principal waves from within his office and the custodian gives me a salute.  You’d think that I had done something quite amazing to earn all of this respect and to meet all of these people.  In fact, all I ever did was show up.  My ability to be present for kids is extremely important for them, and therefore it is also important to their teachers, coaches, parents and friends.  

I once told someone that if I could choose to do anything and have it be my “job”, I would be a friend.  Just that.  Young Life is enables me to be exactly that for these high schoolers.  If they need a ride, if they want someone to listen, if they need to vent, if they want encouragement; I get to give it to them.  Of course, I’m not their only friend, but I can be there for them if they would like.  I invite them to things - weekly Club, laser tag, pool parties - and I continue to invite them even if they never come.  I want these students to feel wanted, and I want them to see Jesus who loves them more than anyone ever could.

My main reason for being on campus is that I help coach Track & Field.  Our season was ending and the question I kept hearing was, “Will you still be around?”  That means a lot to me, that these teenagers even care whether or not I will see them multiple times a week.  It means that these kids want what God has given me to offer.  It means that I get to keep showing up.  Most of all, it means that I can continue to witness Christ at work in the lives of my friends each day.

A New Start

My dad was a coach for over 40 years.  He was always good at teaching a sport and growing kids into skilled athletes.  However, I was never that great at sports.  I lacked the “killer instinct” that so many of the best athletes seem to have.  I grew to be tolerant of sports because I like being around people.  By the time I graduated from high school, I had pretty much sworn off of competitive sports in any official capacity, and I figured that was the end of it.

Flash forward a few years and I find myself looking for ways to get on the San Juan Hills High School campus and meet the students there.  I kept hearing that one great way to start relationships on campus was through sports, and so I asked to become a volunteer for the track and field team.  On my first day, I was introduced to the team as Coach G., the new coach.  I stumbled my way through drills and techniques that practice, but somehow, I gained the respect of the kids.  

On our first home meet, I was assigned to help out with the starter and the timers, running around whenever something needed doing.  I was there at the beginning of each and every race, checking the lanes, encouraging the runners, and covering my ears as the gun went off.  I was able to cheer on my runners, and congratulate them as they finished.  I was proud of them, and they would each say “thanks Coach G.” as they passed by.  At the end of the night, our team had won and our kids were happily exhausted.  I told them goodbye before driving home with that word echoing in my head, “Coach...coach...coach.”  

I had never imagined that I would be a coach, much less for such a great team.  But here I am; encouraging, cheering, screaming, giving advice.  Some of these kids are my friends, some of them live in my neighborhood.  Some of them have even started to talk to me about their lives, their families, their thoughts on God.  Every day I get to be with them is a blessing, even if it is as a coach.

-Josh